8 days purge free :)

Recovery Day 7

So week one of my recovery journey definitely has some huge victories, and some not so great moments. I’ve gone 6 days without purging! That’s amazing to me. But.. the unhealthy, disordered eating habits I’ve developed  are definitely proving hard to break. Even though I haven’t purged, I’ve definitely still had some bingeing, overeating and restricting. I’m working on it though. Today, I had a really bad, bingey lunch, but instead of saying today’s ruined, I’ll start over tomorrow, I’m starting over now. I’ve been drinking lots of water to flush everything outta my system, and I’m going out to dinner with friends to this place that has an AMAZING raw organic salad bar! So I’m gonna have a nice salad tonight, and then hopefully have a better day tomorrow, and an even better one the next day. Moving forward :)

Recovery Day 5

So last night ended up being horrible. After eating so well and feeling so good, I totally messed up at this hall sleepover we had and binged. But, I decided not to purge. Which ultimately I know is better for my health, but the weight gain scares me.

But anyways, I’m NOT going to restrict today to make up for it, nor I am going to keep bingeing. I’m going to eat healthy again, and this time I’m gonna be more on the lookout for temptations and find better ways to overcome them. 

Recovery Day 4

Today’s been so so good! I ate 1860 ish calories of yummy, healthy vegan food, and I feel really good :) I think I want to start taking pictures of all my food and posting them here along with my intake, just to keep myself accountable and to get excited about my food. 

Today’s intake:

Breakfast: 1 packet apple cinnamon oatmeal w/ raspberries, a smoothie (2 oranges, 1 apple, acai juice, kale & chia seeds)

Meal #2: 1 sm sweet potato, lentils, mushrooms, kale, cilantro & peanut dressing

Meal #3: a big wrap w/ chickpeas, tofu, and a ton of veggies

Dinner: Spinach, cranberry & mandarin salad, roasted squash, chickpeas w/ mushroom chili, lentil soup w/ cilantro & orzo

Snack: 1 small sweet potato

It sounds like a lot to me, but I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s good for me, my body needs it, and based on my BMR and exercise and stuff, 1860 calories is an amount that I’ll lose weight on, slowly and healthily :) 

Now I just have to resist junk food tonight.. my hall is having a “sleepover” to celebrate the fact that school’s done in a week.. I know there’s gonna be tons of temping junk, but my plan is to just stay away. I’ve done too good today to throw it all away. 

Recovery Day 3

Far from perfect, but far better than yesterday, which was far better than the day before that. 

Moving forward. This is a good direction. 

I called an eating disorder treatment center and set up a consultation today. Now my brain is screaming that I’m overreacting, my ED’s not that big of a deal, and I really don’t need treatment. Ugg. I do though, I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder in one form or another for the last 6 years. I can’t just snap out of it, and it is a big deal. I deserve to get my life back, and I’m going to do what it takes. 

Recovery Day 2

Today’s positive affirmation: I will be patient in steadily working toward my goal, remembering that all good comes in time.

Today’s goal: never give up